November 16, 2012
“So
whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the Glory of God.”
1
Corinthians 10:31
“We have a tendency to look for wonder in our experience,
and we mistake heroic actions for real heroes. It’s one thing to go through a
crisis grandly, yet quite another to go through every day glorifying God when
there is no witness, no limelight, and no one paying even the remotest
attention to us. If we are not looking for halos, we at least want something
that will make people say, “What a wonderful man of prayer he is!” or, “What a
great woman of devotion she is!” If you are properly devoted to the Lord Jesus,
you have reached the lofty height where no one would ever notice you
personally. All that is noticed is the power of God coming through you all the
time.”
Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
It never ceases to amaze me that God is
so aware of the conditions of my heart, and present in the circumstances of my
life, that he might send word to me through any means necessary to comfort and
assure me and remind me that I am his, chosen and sealed in his love.
I have gone from mountaintop to valley
over the last months, weeks, and days. Most recently, one crisis confounded
another in my life and I reached the point where I honestly did not know what
to do. In past times I would have picked up a bottle of bourbon and drown
myself in it. I would have sought the company of others more miserable than
myself, and would have found myself in one compromising situation or another.
If my journey through these recent
crises could be described as “grandly,” I would have to laugh. For I have
flailed in every attempt to keep my head upon my shoulders, my heart within my
chest, and my spirit comfortably rested in that of God.
And I think, as I write and post this
now, am I seeking any sort of self-gratification, sanctification, or other
glory for myself in this?
The answer, quite honestly, is no.
I desire my words, my honesty and my
journey through this experience, to be what they have always been for me: a
tool to help transform the lives of others. I only share these words, not to
invoke pity or praise, but rather to comfort someone else in the world who is
going through something similar, or worse, than I am. We must find God’s glory
in our suffering, and wherever you are, I am there with you… and so is our
loving God.
So, these following words are blunt.
They hide nothing. They expose me for who I am. But they are not to bring me
glory. They are to reveal to you, whoever and wherever you may be, that in my
crises I seek no glory for myself, no praise or adoration. I seek company, the
faithful prayers of a body of Christ stretched across the world. But I seek no
“grand” navigation of these crises in my life. I seek simply to, somehow, be as
David was in the wilderness. Not to be humble, which Satan can convince us we
should be, falsely disguising our self-righteousness as humility when in fact
we should confess to our absolute brokenness. Rather, as David was chased from
his throne by his very own son, he found praise after praise for the God he
knew was in control of everything.
---
My name is Chris.
I am 31.
I live at my parents’ house.
I drove a car for 13 years that had been given to me by my
parents. Now I drive their spare minivan.
I am unemployed.
I am single.
I lost two houses in a bankruptcy.
I am bald and have grey hair on my chest and in my beard.
I have been addicted to
Pride
Self-Seeking
Self-Seeking
Control
I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember.
But I have never let God love me,
Until now…
---
There is no glory in pronouncing
oneself unworthy by the world’s standards of anything near success. But I do
not aim for my own glory in these times…
You see, instead, I see God’s glory in
my crises:
---
I am named after a man who changed the
course of human history.
I have been given thirty-one years on
this planet to bless others.
I have parents who love me enough to
provide me shelter…
…And a means of transportation.
I have earned enough in previous
employment to be able to provide in this time of unemployment.
I am being prepared to be the man of my
future bride’s dreams.
I have learned, through loss, that
possessions are, at best, only a means to an end and not the end itself.
God loves me so much he knows the
number of hairs on my head and chest and beard, even if they are grey.
I have been freed from addiction to
Pride
Control
Self-Seeking
Control
I was chosen by God, as he formed me in my mother’s womb,
and am blessed to have known him most days of my life.
I have let God love me,
Even now…
---
I am realizing in crises, that fear and panic tend to be the
mode of operation and control. But fear and panic are not of the Lord. For if
the birds and the flowers survive, then I’ll make it okay (“Table for Two,” Caedmon’s
Call).
So, if you are where I am, let us reach together for God’s
glory in these times.
And if you are beneath where I am, know that I am reaching
down for you, if only in these words.
If you are above, do not forget your brothers and sisters
who are reaching up toward you.
And in all things, regardless of where we are, let us find a
way to bring glory to God…
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